Endnote

As I read back through the posts I've made here, I realize that I've come a long way in the past nine months or so.

For one, I've run distances I'd never imagined being able to do, starting with that first two-miles. The main reason? My frame of mind. I've worked hard to overcome several mental barriers -- namely extreme perfectionism. In all my life, it wasn't until only a few months ago that I began to realize that running a long distance -- like a marathon -- was actually a real, tangible possibility. And pardon me for saying so, but I'm proud of myself for what I've accomplished so far.

But just as importantly, I've realized that success doesn't always happen on our schedule. And sometimes -- especially for a neurotic perfectionist who tends to measure her worth by her achievements -- knowing when to say "when" is just as big of an accomplishment as running a marathon.

Really, what I'm trying to say here is that, while completing a marathon is still a goal, it's not going to happen for me this year. I won't be ready, so I'm deferring my registration until next year. And it's okay. The world isn't going to explode. Life will continue. And I'll get an extra year to keep improving all around -- maybe to do even better than I would have, were I to run it this year. Most of all, it'll give me enough time to get some big things off my metaphorical plate.

If you really miss me, you can still find me here. And just like that, goodbye.

*heart*
Sarah

Worry is an unusual, but very effective, motivator

I went eight (8) miles yesterday. You should be so very proud. The weather was beautiful, and the humidity was low (and so was the Run-O-Cam's battery) -- a marvelous day for a long easy run out on the open road. But after the first four miles, I was tired and had lots to do. I had run well and since it was already getting late in the evening, I was going to just pack it up and go home.

But I went four more. Because I'm a wuss.

Now, I might have been able to run more of the last four if I'd at least gotten some water. My water was at my car. My car was in a parking lot that -- as I was approaching -- was quickly filling with fire trucks and police cars and various emergency squads. Two police cars blocked off the main road at either end of the parking lot, and were actually turning vehicles back. And my car, with my water, was parked -- alone -- in the middle of it all.

I probably could have simply asked one of the police officers what was up, should I move my car, can I please get my water. But I'm a wuss. I know it was probably just an alarm or a drill, but I couldn't help thinking that maybe they thought that my car shouldn't be there on a Sunday evening and therefore must be a threat, and so had called in an entire emergency crew to check it out. Because I'm imaginative and neurotic, too.

So I kept going. Because at the time I don't think I could have handled an interrogation, or even a suspicious glance. I figured that it would take me about another hour to do four more miles, and hoped that by that time they would have checked out what they needed to check out, or at least by that time I might be rational enough to address someone and beg to go home, because I just ran eight miles without water.

So after four more miles of mostly walking with intermittent running and some careful stretching, everyone had left, and my car was alone again as if nothing had happened while I was gone. And so I drank two bottles of water, changed into flip-flops and drove home, stopping only for ice cream. Glorious ice cream.

Good things come preprogrammed

There are days when I have to fight tooth and nail with my psyche to run a full mile. There are days when the *other* things in life outweigh working out. There are days when I'd rather gouge my eyes with spoons rather than put on my shoes and go for a run.

And then there are days like today, which seems to be headed for one of the above. You know, when my head just isn't in it. But I was kindly reminded of what lies ahead -- a marathon to be specific -- and I knew I couldn't skip out.

He: "So, you're doin' some running!? Keith said you're going to run a 5K or something?!"

Me: "I did a 5K back in June. I'm signed up to run the Marine Corps Marathon in October though."

He: "WHAT!? You're crazy girl! That's awesome! Good job!"

Me: [weak laughter] "Well I haven't done anything yet..."

He: "Yeah, but you've got more ambition than I've got. Good luck!"

(He being one who runs 8 miles at noon in the dead heat of summer.)

Accountability. It's a real bitch, you know.

So Keith and I went to the gym tonight. And I was going to wimp out and get on the elliptical (although, I must say the elliptical really is nothing to scoff at), but all the elliptical machines were in use. So I breathed a heavy sigh, selected my treadmill and climbed on. And then I figured out how to use the preprogrammed workouts. And I selected HILLS. AND THIS HAS FOREVER CHANGED MY LIFE. For I have just had the most incredible, challenging, satisfying, triumphant workout in a long while. Once I learned to pay attention to when the machine was going to incline so that I would not go rolling off the back of the belt, that is. Quads burning, sides cramping, lungs bursting, the steady pace throughout, the long, glorious sprint for the last 45 seconds -- it was more beautiful than a giant scoop of vanilla ice cream atop a warm brownie with hot fudge sauce.

Plan B

In case the running thing doesn't quite pan out.

I'm Training to Ruin a Marathon

Out for Blooooooood

It's been almost a week, I know, I know. Oops.

Quickly then, I'll just say the 5K was a good run, generally fun, though mostly uphill which kind of sucked. But our time was right about the same as the last one, which had been mostly downhill (maybe even better if it hadn't been for awful cramps in Kelly's stomach and calf that required a few minutes' walking). Surely this is a sign of improvement. Adam finished in a little over 26 minutes, very respectable for one who hasn't been racing in years, although he is 6' 3" with very long legs.

The race was small, only about 150 people, but the Druid Hill Park course was nice (except for making us run the final quarter-mile uphill), there was lots of cheering and encouragement coming up to the finish line, and the post-race food was awesome. I love the Red Cross.

Ready to run

Just a quick note here. I'm in the middle of trying to pack up a small bag of clothes and shampoo and soap and stuff for the short overnight trip we'll be making up to Kelly's, and find directions to parking for the event. She and I (and Adam, too!) are running in the OUT FOR BLOOOOOD 5K tomorrow morning in Baltimore (you really need to say it like that). I'm really excited because of the name. I'm not excited about having to leave almost immediately afterward to drive the two hours back home to celebrate Father's Day with my dad because Sunday morning we have to drive two hours back up to celebrate my mother-in-law and her twin sister's 50th birthday, which is really today, and because clearly Saturday was not a good enough option. Please don't ask me what I really think about the whole thing.

I'll try to get on sometime this weekend, maybe, possibly...or, like, Monday...to let you know how the 5K goes. Meanwhile here's the snake we found last week in the tree near my car, that I said I'd post a picture of. I'm not sure what Keith was trying to do though.

Evidence of improvement

The solstice might be a few weeks away yet, but summer's already peeking around the corner. It wasn't quite as hot as it will be, but it was hazy, and I ran two miles yesterday in a cloud of tangible humidity, with deer flies jumping on my arms--those suckers land on you while you're moving! And they won't go away! They don't bother me quite as much as those damn sand fleas though; at least you can brush the deer flies away, and they're not so small that you can actually inhale them while you're running through a cloud of them. Ick. There was, however, a very nice breeze coming off the water. Nevertheless, it is very clear to me that I should learn to get up early on the weekdays and run in the morning.

I was supposed to run those two miles at a 12:37 pace, but I inadvertently ran a bit faster than that. As I approached the first mile marker, I looked at my watch and realized I had run the first mile in about 8:30. Whoa. I tried to slow it down a bit on the second mile, for fear that I would fizzle out and collapse in a wheezing, twitching heap on the side of the road, but it's hard to slow down when you're already feeling comfortable at a certain pace, and I finished at 17:38--that's roughly nine minutes for the second mile. I don't know that I could have run a full third mile, but I mean if I could, that would be *amazing* for me and the 5K I'm running next Saturday! I didn't think I could run that fast *ever,* and part of me still thinks my watch might be broken. Or maybe it's just the weather.

P.S. -- And oh, I left the Run-O-Cam in the car during running, but have some pictures of a snake Keith found in a tree near the car before we started. I'll post one for you later.

If I had gone jogging through the streets and squares of Savannah

If things hadn't turned out so...um... unexpected, I would have gone jogging in Savannah and I would have seen sights like this:

And this:

And the crossing signals would have spoken to me, telling me things like, "Wait...Wait...Wait...Now safe to cross Bay Street...Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven..."

But instead, I spent much of my free time here, fighting the urge to pack up and go home:

And that's all I have to say about that.

Kiwi

Haven't *you* ever taken a risk to achieve a dream? Have a great weekend. I'll see you when I get back from Savannah!

No point in beating around the bush

It's going to be a weird week because Thursday at 0500 we'll be in the car and driving out of the parking lot, embarking on a 10-hour drive to Savannah. Hopefully all this running will have paid off when I put on my fancy new dress.

Hence, I didn't bother making a running schedule for this week. Heck, since when have I adhered to my schedule anyway? Since I'll be in the car all day on Thursday AND Sunday -- both normal running days, and I don't know the area, so I don't know what kind of workout I'll get to do. But I hear Savannah is a great walking city, so maybe it will be a great running city too.

UPDATE (11:02 p.m.): Awesome workout tonight. It feels good to feel good after a run again.

Starting over

My first two weeks of marathon training have gone pretty well, except that I've skipped both of my long runs. For that reason, I'm starting over this week.

The first week, I skipped because of excessive soreness from being overly active during the week, and this past one I skipped because I didn't have time, and I mean that. I *really* truly did not have an hour to spare unless I skimped on sleep, and I figure my running won't be any better if I don't sleep enough. So I chose sleep.

No matter, I'm starting over, like I said, and that's that. No harm done. We're having company this weekend, but I might be able to wake up super-early on Sunday (if it's not raining!) to get out and run before anyone else wakes up. The weekend after that -- for the time being -- I'm FREE! I have NO plans! And the weekend after that I'll be in Savannah. And then my life will be back to normal. Rock on.

Catching up

Have you ever had those workouts where you work really hard and push yourself to finish even though it totally sucks and you do it and you should feel really good, but afterward you just want to go home and crochet a blanket for your mother-in-law?

I realize I've been really bad at blogging lately, for no other reason than that I'm busy, and it's a lame excuse. And I'm sorry. So today will be a comprehensive post of stuff I meant to write to you about.

Yesterday, I went to the gym and did a speed workout on the treadmill. It totally sucked. Then I did some strength training on my arms, because a strong upper body is supposed to make your body process oxygen more efficiently and therefore run better. As an added bonus, my arms, shoulders and back will be more shapely and less squishy when I wear my most beautiful new dress to Jen B's wedding at the end of this month.

This past weekend I went on a 7.5-mile hike with Jen A and Toby around St. Mary's Lake.

It was a good hike, but my body was completely exhausted from it (and last Thursday's run, gardening all day Friday, and doing standing lunges on Wednesday until I couldn't lift myself up anymore because I was talking to my mom and had lost count). That's why I didn't go on my long run Sunday. It was a good day for hiking, and apparently a good day for snakes to be out on the trail as well. We saw two: a little green snake which scared the living daylights out of Jen when she nearly stepped on it, and a bigger black snake which I thought at first, from a distance, was a bicycle tire (although Jen hadn't seen it at all until I pointed it out).

Then, on Wednesday, I went on a 4-mile walk with Mom because the weather was so nice. We saw a bunny who kindly let me take his picture.

I'm in!

Quickie

After a week of WIFLing, I've decided to start my first week of official marathon training this week. It's a 16-week-long schedule, so I figure that if I start now I'll have a bit of time for the inevitable slip-up/catch-up. And maybe by planning to be ready for a marathon a month and a half ahead of time, I won't be having any last-minute dear lord, I am not fit for this panicking. Or at least not as much.

MCM registration opens this week (Wednesday at noon, to be precise)! Excited? Nervous? Who knows. I just hope I don't forget.

Postscript

By the way, I felt I should mention that today is my HALF-BIRTHDAY! This is, of course, a very important moment of the Sarahthon, because I am exactly halfway from 25 to 26, and in many ways it feels like a point of no return. Ain't no turnin' back now.

Uphill battle

I'll say this much: the hills are bitches.

That statement alone really could sum up my reflections on Saturday's 10K, but a person doesn't start a blog to be so succinct.

The event was a run/walk for St. Mary's Hospice; my parents participated in the 5K fun walk, which is why you see them in the photos below (left to right: Kelly, Mom, me, Dad).

Of course as you know, Kelly and I participated in the 10K run. And as it turns out, there are hills in Leonardtown. Oh, it's not really as though I'd never noticed before, having driven at least part of the course before. But running hills, even slight inclines, is far different than driving them -- in that you notice even the slightest change in grade. This might seem like common sense to you, and it is. But despite my familiarity with the area, I hadn't really thought about the terrain. And the 5K was mostly downhill. I think Kelly, who has been training on trails with hills, had an easier time than I, who have been training on flatty-flat-flat. This was in addition to Saturday being the hottest running day since the inception of the Sarahthon.

Both of us needed to stop and walk at points, most often when we reached the top of a significant hill. And for water -- but if I recall correctly they set up both water stations at the top of a hill. My time might have been faster if not for Slow Water-Getter Girl, who gave away the two cups she had to Kelly and one other runner just in front of me, and didn't seem to care about taking her time going back to the table and grabbing another cup for me, and in my head I was like, WOMAN! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M IN A RACE!?! EVERY SECOND COUNTS! Only kidding; really, I was more like, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT HILL I JUST *RAN* UP?! I CANNOT SPEAK BUT GIBBERISH, BUT THE ELIXIR OF LIFE WILL RESTORE CLARITY TO MY MIND!

Our walking breaks only lasted a minute or two and then we went right back to running, and thus it probably didn't add on too much time.

As I complain about the hills, it should be noted that while there were a number of significant climbs, there weren't a whole heck of a lot of descents. So our run went mostly like: uphill, flat, uphill, flat, uphill, flat.

It should also be noted that I think we still did pretty darn good, considering neither of us was really fully prepared to run a 10K. Kelly's been so busy that she can only fit in one or two runs a week, and I've been lazy. Nor are we hardcore runners like Spandex Man, who was quite confident in his Spandex shorts with the specially contoured pocket for, well... in addition to his shaved legs and arms. (Seriously? The Run for Hospice? *I* didn't even get up and shave before the race.)

After running up the hill on Route 5 going into Leonardtown (toward the CSM campus), and up another hill around the CSM parking lot, knowing we were almost there -- we could hear cheering and shouts of encouragement -- we walked up one final hill and started to run the last leg just as we crested the top. Where everyone could see us. Even though we had to take a few breaks, the goal was to finish strong for the camera:

The official results haven't been posted yet, but I'll update the Accomplishments section with my official time as soon as I find out. Meanwhile, I'll tell you that we finished a few seconds apart, in roughly 68:00. Once again, not an impressive time -- but I don't care. WE FINISHED.

6 down, 20 to go

Here I am jogging the first of 6 miles yesterday evening -- photo courtesy of Keith, who operated the Run-O-Cam, carried water, kept me company, cheered me on and calculated the percentage of the total distance that I had completed, all while following on Rollerblades. And I'm sure you'd like to commend me on a good show of perseverence in the face of procrastination. Why, thank you; you are too kind.

What is the muscle that connects between the top of the thigh and hip? (Iliacus? Psoas major?) The one you use to lift your leg, say, to walk up stairs or step into a pair of pants? Yeah, mine hurt in both legs, so I wore a dress today, but unfortunately must walk up stairs to exit the office trailer-trailer where I work, in order to use the restroom because I have been drinking Gatorade all morning. Thirsty. Other than that, I feel okay. A mixture of proud and scared, as I've set a new benchmark for runnable distance.

One more thing for the rest of the week -- some rules:

1. No soda, tea or coffee (hot chocolate and milkshakes are okay). Water and blue Gatorade instead.
2. Lots of stretching.
3. Clean the house because Kelly's staying over and Greg (Keith's dad) wants to install the ceiling fan (!) in our bedroom.

I do have something better to do (like run), but I'm trying to think of a way out of it

I got to talking with my friend's fiancé, Dave -- the crazy-runner-man -- over this past weekend, and he suggested that I should go out today and jog very slowly for 6 miles, since the race I'm running this weekend is twice the farthest distance I've ever run. Makes sense. Then he said, "or just do 5," when he saw the look on my face. I was supposed to do 6 miles on Sunday, but Sunday was really crappy, the whole weekend was stressful, and I did a lousy 2 miles on the treadmill instead. And I felt like crap afterward. The whole thing just sucked. Did I already blog about that? I can't remember.

I'm procrastinating right now, if you couldn't tell. I'm not really feeling the whole distance running thing. At least not today. Probably because of that whole perfectionist thing, remember? Let's blame it on that. Since I don't know that I can finish 6 miles, I don't even want to try. Not by myself. Because I really don't want to get to 4 or 5 miles and be stuck having to walk back, because I can't carry the Run-O-Cam AND a phone AND a key to get into my car to get my badge to get back into the building where my husband will be waiting to go home. And dude, it's chilly. Ohhhhh. I'd go twice around the neighborhood, but I feel weird running around there alone because I get the feeling people are looking at me like, Yo -- why are you running when the rest of us normal people are eating dinner and watching the evening news? Okay, getting up, publishing, changing clothes, going out, running slow but far.

Right now.

Really.

A poor excuse, some normal anxiety, and a potentially debilitating neurosis

I told myself I'd take the Run-O-Cam out this past weekend and bring back something wonderful to show you. Alas, I confess, I haven't been out running because IT'S COLD AND RAINY. I don't know if cold and rainy can still qualify as an excuse for a hardcore aspiring amateur marathoner -- but dude! It's cold and rainy.

Rest assured, I am still cutting it up on the treadmill at the gym (at least *twice* a week...), and as an added bonus, I haven't been tearing up my shins! There's still a little soreness, but nothing I can't run through and wash away with a bit of adrenaline.

And so I'm running a 10K in a little less than two weeks. On one hand, I'm having tiny-esque attacks of anxiety every time I think about how I have no idea whether I am yet physically capable of completing such a distance in a reasonable amount of time. And on the other, I remind myself that I always freak out and end up doing just fine. Not perfect -- which inevitably kills me a little, because I think we all know that I am a neurotic perfectionist, and I have a hard time getting out there at all if I know I probably can't meet my exceptionally high standards -- but I always finish and that's good enough, right? I am learning.

Note to self

ME: Your only two stars so far this week are for resting.

ME: SO?

ME: It's a little pitiful, Sarah. Do you really deserve stars for resting?

ME: Yes! Resting is a crucial part of any physical training program.

ME: So is physical training.

ME: ...

ME: ...

ME: ... So is resting.

ME: *sigh*